People ask me a lot (like a lot) how life is with three kids. Let’s rewind a minute. Life with my first kid was by-the-book. I read “the books”, I did stuff that good moms do like wash bottles on the sanitize cycle, rinsed his paci under scorching hot water if it fell on the floor (ok, I never really did that…), spent half the day just trying to get him to go to sleep at exactly 9, and 1 and 7 AND made sure he had ample tummy time to boot. I had no clue what I was doing in retrospect, but at least it looked like I did. Kid number 2 lucked out because I sorta kinda had an idea about being a mom and all the do’s and do-nots fell into place… like do put your kid in bed when he is drowsy, but not 100% asleep, and do stick to a schedule for eating and sleeping so your kid sleeps through the night, and don’t not read to your kid or he won’t never know how to read or write…. right? Life wasn’t so super hectic that I was able to maintain somewhat of a daily routine and the kids benefited (I think?). And now with kid number three my life (and his life) revolves around a whole lot of “ish”.
-ish – Definition: 1. kind of, sort of. (courtesy of Urban Dictionary)
Let me exemplify:
“Oh, so what is your baby’s nap schedule these days?”
— “Yeah, he naps at like 8 or 9 or 10ish, and then sometimes at like 1 or 3ish… you know, just depends…..”
“Does he sleep through the night?”
— “He can. He has done it like 3 times in his entire life. But most nights he wakes up at like 10ish or 2ish or 4ish… really just depends.”
“Oh, and what are you feeding him these day? Is he on solids yet?”
—“Yeah, he eats baby food for 2ish meals per day – lunch and dinner. Haven’t really found the time for breakfast yet, but we are working on it.”
Ok. I get it. The kid has no schedule and he is 6 months old. “The books” would not approve of all this “ish”. But what is a mom to do? I have no two days the same. Ever! Life revolves around kid #1 and kid #2…. and kid #3 is either going to be the most well-adjusted-go-with-the-flow-hipster… or a little messed up.
He is loved, he is fed, he is thoroughly entertained by his brothers… but his schedule? It’s not picture perfect. The schedule that I once worshipped is gone. The schedule is….well, dead.
… among other things like homemade baby food, the fact that he napped in his carseat until he was 4 months old, and sometimes/most times I don’t (gasp!) put a white onsie on under his clothes… I know. It’s bad.
I have a feeling he will survive and maybe have a little more character because of it. But I can’t help but wonder, what shortcuts do other people take with second, third, and 4th kids? Come on. Humor me with your ish….or just make me feel a little better about myself!
Casey Leigh
October 22, 2013 at 7:51 pm3rd children all always the most easy going, relaxed, intelligent and low key of all the siblings …. Ryan is going to be just like his favorite aunt Casey …. Just going with the flow, stress and worry free, he’ll never give you any trouble!!! Just ask mommy and daddy what a dream child number 3 can be! I’m sure they will agree 😉
Sisters to Sons
October 22, 2013 at 8:16 pmCase, I can only hope Ryan will turn out just like you! But does that mean I have to have 2 more, because you are #3, but truly the middle child!
dutchy
October 22, 2013 at 10:21 pmNo
dutchy
October 22, 2013 at 10:23 pmFunny case!
Jessica
October 22, 2013 at 7:51 pmGreat post! Nick has pretty much never napped more than 40 minutes (usually more like 20). And most of the time they are in the car or when he’s attached to me in his carrier. NO schedule here and defiantly no onesies under clothes either:-) he’s lucky if he gets his diaper changed when it should be, poor baby!
Sisters to Sons
October 22, 2013 at 8:17 pmok Phew! So it’s not just me!…. and the only reason R doesn’t nap on me anymore is because he is too heavy 🙂
Heather
October 22, 2013 at 7:57 pmOMG, this is me in a month. I totally get the -ish already. #3 has something that is sort of nursery-ish. But did I mention his brother is currently sleeping in it?
Sisters to Sons
October 22, 2013 at 8:19 pmLOL! Will the baby be in your room at first? If so that buys you a little more time to kick the soon-to-be-big brother out!
Katie
October 22, 2013 at 8:23 pmAll of your boys are lucky to have you as their mom! Ryan will be better off having all the ish. He’s alreay such a happy and adaptable baby. You’re doing an awesome job with all three boys!
Sisters to Sons
October 22, 2013 at 9:26 pmAwh, thanks Katie! Same to you!… I couldn’t imagine having 2 two-year olds!! Yikes!
Natalie
October 22, 2013 at 8:30 pmHey, it was whatever goes with #3. Had to be flexible so that things could be sane for me! I was pretty nuts about having her nap at home, but really, what was the point? I see my other friends just having their kids nap while the other kids are doing activities and can’t help but think their kids are going to be more flexible and easy going. Who knows… you do what you have to do to make it through the day! oh and as far as food, that part was hilarious! I would just randomly feed lindsay whenever I remembered (if I even did!) and also, I would just pick her pacifier up off the floor and give it to her. Oops!
Sisters to Sons
October 22, 2013 at 9:28 pmOk so glad I am not the only one who has trouble finding the time to feed the poor kid! I mean, he does have like 4 chins so clearly he is not starving! But if he would just sleep through the night I could get up earlier and then have more time in the mornings… agh!!
Amy
October 22, 2013 at 10:13 pmAsk Rachel my perfect 5 th!
Rachel
October 22, 2013 at 10:28 pmGot that right mom! A little bit of ish never hurt anyone 🙂
Gina Badalaty
October 23, 2013 at 9:40 amI could relate TO EVERY SINGLE WORD OF THIS. LOL. Tossed those books out the window with pregnancy #2. None a single one applied in real life, lol.
cheri chamberlain
October 23, 2013 at 10:44 amwhen deciding if Adell’s hand-me-downs will work for little brother: “well these sweatpants are really a deep purple, almost eggplant color, so I’d say they are boy-ish.” 🙂
Sisters to Sons
October 24, 2013 at 8:50 pmlol! purple is the new blue!
Caitlin
October 23, 2013 at 12:32 pmso funny! Even though this is my first, I have been a nanny for years so my daughter totally fell into the ish. Especially with 2 older kids in tow
Bonnie a.k.a. LadyBlogger
October 26, 2013 at 3:10 pmI loved reading this! I don’t know of a single parent of three or more who would find fault with your “ish!” (And anyone else isn’t outnumbered yet, so they don’t have any idea what’s it’s like!) People have survived well on much less…He looks adorable and the thought bubble by his head is very funny!
Rabia @TheLiebers
October 26, 2013 at 6:29 pmMy youngest is 3. He is totally an -ish kid. It suits him pretty well.
Tara @ SecretsofaMomaholic.com
October 27, 2013 at 10:24 pmI only have 2 kids and they are so close in age so I was able to maintain all of the rules, routines, schedules I did with my first…however, I definitely lost my f*#@ing mind!! I toyed with the idea of a third but my husband was against it…I don’t think he was scared so much of another child as much as he was of me- as a mom- to 3 children!!!
I give moms of any amount of children tons of credit.
adrian
October 27, 2013 at 11:43 pmI dunno – my personal opinion, I think the -ish is better than the totally by the book style of parenting. Maybe the earlier kids would turn out even better if the new parents didn’t hover so much and worry about every little silly thing. My #3 was very “ish” also – I was almost 40 and working full time, so I mostly sat back and let him do his thing. He’s 15 now and doing just fine. Just relax and enjoy your kids and trust that they will all turn out just fine.