I’ve come to the realization that when your kids are little they love you, they want to be with you, they want all of your attention….. BUT, they don’t really trust you. If you have kids or are thinking about having kids, your day does (or will) consist of certain battles. And man, kids are tough cookies. Relentless. And sometimes I just wish they would see it my way…. Because I’m the mom, and most likely right. Do you know how long I’ve waited to say that? And do you know that with toddlers and preschoolers and even babies, it means squat.
Here are 8 battles I frequently fight. 8 things I wish my kids understood. If only they could see it my way…
8. Trust me, kid, you really do want to eat that piece of pizza right now. It is hot and delicious, and you are going to burn it off in about 30 seconds anyway so, just trust me and eat the damn piece of pizza.
7. No, you really do want to take a nap. You need to rest, I need a break, and your little shut-eye sesh is going to make our evening so much more enjoyable. You nap, we all win.
6. I realize that you love your spiderman shirt, but no, you can’t wear it for the 4th day in a row. It’s a rough world out there. The other kids are going to catch on… plus I think your little brother wiped his snot on your back. Not a good look.
5. I am truly flattered that you want me to stay home with you, but this babysitter is super nice, and cute, and she will play with you, and she will also be giving you a piece of candy after I leave to distract you from my absence. And when I come back, I’ll be a happier, more patient mommy. Trust me, you want her right now, not me.
4. When we are having a playdate, just share your stinkin’ toys with the other kid. Do you know how hard I worked to meet this mom to arrange this playdate so that I can have an ounce of adult conversation? Playing referee is totally cramping my ability to find out where I should be sending you to preschool and/or what kindergarten teacher I need to request for next year… plus if you want to be invited back to their house, the ball is in your court.
3. My parents always taught me that nothing good happens after midnight. And that applies to you too. Sleep is a beautiful thing. So just do it. Sleep allllll night long. It’s really not complicated.
2. I really don’t want to revoke your tv privileges….ever. I really, really don’t. When the tv is on it is the only time I can complete a thought, make a phone call, complete a thought, pee, or complete a thought. So when you hear me start to say, “Alright that’s it! No T…..” just stop whatever you are doing at that moment, give me a hug and remind me that taking away your legos is a better choice…. either that or just listen to me in the first place.
1. Don’t hurt your brother. Just don’t. You might need him someday and you’ll want to be sure all his limbs and/or brain cells are working properly.