It Takes a Village

January 3, 2014

Sometimes I have no clue what I am supposed to do. You know, the three little lives that I am responsible for… it’s a pretty big job. The other day my toddler was screaming with stomach pain for two hours, my baby needed to be fed and my oldest NEEDED a new game on the iPad and They all needed me. They were all squeaky wheels. And while I wasn’t sure if the child screaming in pain needed medical attention, I couldn’t think straight amongst all the noise….  help

… I did what my gut told me and went straight to my phone to call my mom for reinforcements. Yes, mom, I still need you and I hope that when my kids are in their 30s they will still need me too…. (just not all at once and not all screaming). Within minutes of her and my dad’s arrival (now that he is retired he gets to accompany her on her daily excursions… lucky guy), the kids were all  back in order. It was like magic. The baby got fed, the big guy got in a wrestling session with my dad which was just the attention that he needed..…


….and the screaming two year old threw up and felt much better. Oh, and dinner got made, and the floor got swept, and I got reassured that when your kid has the stomach bug it is OKAY to turn on the tv. Everything was calm and peaceful, and then they were on their way.

Had my parents not come over, I wouldn’t have known what to do in such a crazy, chaotic, all consuming moment. They say it takes a village, right? Lucky for me, my village – my parents, my in-laws, my sisters, my sister in-laws – they all live within a 15 mile radius of my house.You do realize how huge this is, right?….. But my village gets busy too. My village people have jobs, and retirement condos in Florida, and my husband, my main village man, works very long hours. So most of the time its just me by myself. And it gets a little tricky. It gets a little frustrating. It gets a little exhausting. And, it gets a little lonely because even when your kids are behaving perfectly and one of them does something ridiculously adorable, you just want someone in your village to exchange glances with. That wordless glance that says, “Did you see that?”…. “Oh, yes, I saw that!”…. and now you have a witness. Proof that, yes, your kid’s little off-beat booty shake dance is, in fact, the cutest thing in the entire world.

So I do what any mom does and I seek out more village people. They are other moms who host impromptu playdates when we cross paths on bike rides, or neighbors who distract my kids with a little session of hoops while I make dinner and watch from the window. They are friends who invite us over and don’t flinch when my kids dump every toy bucket in their basement because next week they will come to my house and their kid will do the same. They are the friends who drive my kids to activities when I need to be at another one…..and then when I’ve had one too many “is-it-too-early-to-have-a-glass-of wine” moments… i.e. moments when my 2 year old is screaming to me that he dropped a bag of chocolate chips all over the floor and that Eloise (my dog) is eating them, while simultaneously my 4 year old is sobbing in the next room because he just jumped off the bed and banged his head and is bleeding… and the only 2 hands that I need to solve these problem are elbows deep in a dirty diaper….. well, then sometimes I pay for village support. Yes, a babysitter. Sometimes I just need a freakin’ break. I mask it by saying I need to “run errands”. And I do. But really I just need an hour to recharge my village chief mo-jo.

Parenting is not impossible, but it is so, so, so much prettier with a little help. This post is for my village people. I thank you. I owe you……I need you….. and so do my 3 little men.

  • Katie
    January 3, 2014 at 10:16 am

    Great post, Lindsey! Keep up the good work. You are a wonderful mom. We all need a little help/support/sanity to get through the day! I just have one (and one on the way), so juggling 3 is impressive!

    • Sisters to Sons
      January 3, 2014 at 11:42 am

      Thanks, Katie!! Congrats on your baby on the way! Hope you are feeling good!!

  • Caitlin
    January 3, 2014 at 10:39 am

    I’m so jealous of how close your family lives! Since moving, we are a lot closer to family now but like you said they get busy and of course on the day my daughter is throwing up and I have to pick my partner up from the airport!

  • Gina Badalaty
    January 3, 2014 at 3:18 pm

    Those photos are priceless, lol! It gets easier, it really does. Trust the lady who’s never lived near her “village”!

  • Amanda
    January 3, 2014 at 7:10 pm

    Lindsey … I love reading your posts, they are so easy to relate to. But I have to tell you, with my third on the way any day now and a two year old who is easily three kids on her own … This post almost sent me into cardiac arrest

    • Sisters to Sons
      January 3, 2014 at 10:56 pm

      haha Amanda!!! You will be great… as soon as you have that baby you will feel like a million bucks with your newfound energy (and mobility!)… good luck!!

  • Judy
    January 3, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    Love the way you write! Best post this year!!

    • Sisters to Sons
      January 6, 2014 at 8:22 pm

      Thanks, AJ! Best post, only post 🙂

  • Barbara @ Homeroom At Home
    January 3, 2014 at 9:09 pm

    Sweet… love the pics!!

  • Jessica @FoundtheMarbles
    January 3, 2014 at 10:21 pm

    Such a real and yet beautifully written post. My village people came over today to help me shovel out from the 10 inches of snow we got last night. I am so grateful for them!

  • Lauryn
    January 3, 2014 at 10:52 pm

    Love this! Love villages that are ready to jump in!

  • Mary Ann Roselle
    January 4, 2014 at 8:26 am

    Lindsey, this is your best yet and as you know, I can relate to everything you said. You are doing a fabulous job. Embrace the Village! As one of those village people now, I can assure you we love the call to help. It’s all these experiences that help shape who they grow up to be. And by the way, those 3 little men will one day be the village chiefs and will be looking for your help. Just remember – “Boys are Great”

    • Sisters to Sons
      January 6, 2014 at 8:21 pm

      Thanks, Mrs. Roselle!… you know better than anyone about being a boy mom… they certainly are great!! Thanks for reading oxoo

  • Meredith
    January 5, 2014 at 3:56 pm

    As you are incredibly lucky to have a slew of village people to help you out every now and then, you are the one who is there ALL the time, caring for, loving, playing with, feeding, cleaning up after, dressing/changing, hugging, and snuggling my three favorite guys…and kissing the many, many, many boo-boos that occur each day! All on your own! You are the true hero of the village and I hope that you know how much your village people admire your stamina, courage, involvement, and loving spirit that you show during even the toughest of days. We love you!!!

    • Sisters to Sons
      January 6, 2014 at 8:18 pm

      Awh, thanks Mer! Such sweet words…. but DEFINITELY can’t do it alone. THanks for ALL you do for our little guys xoxo

  • Jessica
    January 6, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    Nina now refers to herself as my “village person”- ha! Great post- SO TRUE!!! Aren’t we lucky?!

  • Barb @ A Life in Balance
    January 13, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    Great post, Lindsey! Your site was down early when I stopped by to let you know that your post is one of the features this week on Motivation Monday.

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