I don’t care how you feed your babies. Nursing? Bottle feeding? As long as you feed them, I have no opinions. And I’m not going to get all preachy-preachy on breastfeeding even though I did it with all my kids. For me, breastfeeding worked so I went with it. It has it’s natural perks besides the obvious, you know, like big boobs, it’s free, and no bottles to clean. But breastfeeding is a commitment. It takes practice, dedication, determination, and patience (among all the sacrifices). There is sort of a natural progression:
Phase 1: Hell Week (or month)
It hurts. Your boobs are so big you can’t even put your arms at your side. You get frustrated. You question if your baby is getting enough milk. You are anxious. It hurts. You want to cry. Your baby won’t stop crying. Your boobs can spray objects 2 feet away…. and you want to laugh, but you just cry. You are so close to giving up because it is not as natural as they say it is. But you keep.on.going. because in a few painfully long weeks….
Phase 2: Bessie’s in Action:
You get it. It’s working. You might even get a little cocky about breastfeeding and start trying out new positions. Nursing and walking? Check. Nursing and grocery shopping? Check. Nursing and making dinner? Check? Nursing and riding backwards on a motorcycle? Yeah I don’t recommend that, but could probably do it. You and your baby are machines working perfectly in tandem. He wants more? You make more. He needs less. You respond. Amazing stuff. Don’t feel like going to the gym? Nurse a little extra for that calorie burn.
Phase 3: The Wind Down.
Your supply starts decreasing. Your baby is eating solids and you start nursing less. Or maybe you go back to work and start supplementing with formula. Or maybe you are nursing your baby with two other monkeys crawling on your head and you question why the heck you are putting yourself through this. Each time you nurse your baby you wonder if it will be your last breastfeeding session? You do that for about a week stretching it one more day until finally you are officially dried up or just done.
Then for about 3 hours you enter Phase 4: Liberation:
For a few hours it is truly awesome. Until….
Phase 5: Nostalgia:
After your crazy I-can-eat/drink/wear-whatever-I want-binge….you look at your sweet baby (and/or get your period) and think, “Yeah. I’d rather be breastfeeding.”
I just stopped breastfeeding. And I’m kinda sad about it.
Phase 6: Crazy Talk
You get pregnant so you can do it all over again. (Just kidding, mom, seriously just kidding).