Parenting 101: Help! My kid bites, hits, and kicks!

March 6, 2014

Can’t you people control your kids?

Well, apparently not.

And it’s sorta funny, right?

Yeah. Until it’s your own kid. (insert self-pitying shrug)

kids biting

So what we do about the fact that our little ones resort to communicating via their fists, feet, and worse yet, teeth when things don’t go their way? See the reader question below and tips from our parenting expert, Lisa from Parenting Playbook.

Reader Question:

Any thoughts on how to deal with a 3 year old boys aggression (frequent biting, kicking, hitting)… Redirection, talking, yelling don’t seem to work!

 Lisa’s Advice:

Yelling is definitely going to make things worse!

He is feeling out of control, out of balance, and so he goes to these tools for lack of anything else to do. He needs new tools.

1. Let him borrow your calmness, your tone of voice, body posture (getting down to his level) can help him regain composure that he lacks at that moment.

 2. Let him vent. He has emotion (probably frustration) and he lacks ways to handle these negative emotions. Teach him/show him positive ways to express these emotions. Put his feelings into words i.e. I see that are you frustrated angry/sad/disappointed (whatever the emotion) that….. Then tell him positive ways to distribute that anger:

“You can go outside and scream; you can hit a pillow; you can draw a picture to show me how mad you are. (This one seems crazy but I promise it works -especially for a 3 yr old who lacks the appropriate vocabulary to voice his feelings.)

 4. Role model appropriate ways to handle frustration.

 5. Give choices. You can do this or do that.

 6. Sometimes you just need to walk away and say: “You are out of control. I am upstairs/in the laundry room – whatever –  when you want to sort this out.”

 7. When he is calm, remind him of tools he has instead of biting/kicking.

 8. Assure him that everything is fine, he is fine, and that every problem has a solution and you are here to help him find it.

 9. If your child seems to be high strung, limit sugar and caffeine for sure. Red drinks and other food groups can intensify behavior.

Conveniently,  Lisa has videos on related subject matter that may also help.

Temper Tantrums from Parenting Playbook on Vimeo.

For more information check out Lisa’s Website:

Oh, and if all else fails, buy this song and play it on repeat.

If you can’t beat ’em, brainwash ’em.     (<—-not Lisa’s advice. Brainwashing is my own idea. Take it for what it’s worth.)

Ok so spill it. How many of you have gotten “the talk” at your kid’s daycare about his/her aggressive antics? We’ve all had that talk, right???

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