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I Will Never Be This Loved Again?

July 7, 2014

When my husband snuggles our babies up close on his lap, he squeezes them tight and says, “You’re still going to let me hold you like this when you are 25, right?” And we look at each other, laugh, imagine what that would look like – a 180 pound man snuggling on his father’s lap, and we believe it to be true. Why wouldn’t we? Why would our kids ever love us any less than they do now? I am pretty sure that given the opportunity, my kids would crawl back inside of me and bunk out in my womb. You know, if that was in any way possible. They want us and need us and love us so much despite any fault or mistake we might make. We are what they live for and visa versa. But there is always a but…

I posted this on my Facebook wall on April 29th and it has remained with me ever since:

Screen Shot 2014-07-07 at 7.41.19 AM

It can’t be true. It simply cannot. You mean to tell me that I get pregnant, grow a baby inside me for 9 months, birth the baby, spend every waking moment doting, worrying, holding, kissing, feeding, cleaning, disciplining, teaching, nurturing and loving this baby only for his love for me to eventually run out? That is messed up. And like I said, I refuse to believe it. In fact, I know it is not true. While my kids might not want to curl up with me and snuggle the way we do now when they are 25, doesn’t mean they will love me any less.  A young child shows affection to his parents is because he is establishing a sense of trust and security. Yes, it is also a symbol of love, but it’s also a safe haven to be wrapped in your mother’s arms. I know there is some philosophical theory to explain this – something I vaguely remember from Psych 101, but the point is, love doesn’t always look like the picture above.

Love is a macaroni necklace your child made for you in preschool.

Love is your child jumping up and down with excitement when you get picked to chaperone the 3rd grade class trip.

Love is your child’s head burrowed in your chest, hyperventilating with tears because he struck out… again…

Love is a secret they swore they’d never spill, but needed your advice.

Love is your child winning a championship game and then running to embrace you first….because your excitement and pride is really the only thing that matters to them.

Love is a phone call home from college because they wanted to know what you’re having for dinner… or maybe they just need to hear your voice.

Love is moving back home.

Love is having a glass of wine with your parents as an adult and thinking there is no place you’d rather be.

Love doesn’t always look like this…

love between mother and childIt certainly is lovely, though. And I am certainly going to enjoy it while it lasts. But when the snuggle sesh’s start to dwindle, I know the love isn’t going with it. Hopefully it means I’ve done my job as parent and they need me a little less…… but hopefully just a little.

  • Natalie
    July 7, 2014 at 9:25 pm

    I saw that on facebook the other day that someone else had posted and it’s been stuck with me too, geesh! great post!

  • Gina B
    July 8, 2014 at 11:57 am

    Love is when they jump up & down when you pick them up from daycare. When you come home from date night and they are still up and say, “You’re back!” When they make you your favorite thing (a cup of coffee) all wrong when you don’t want one and it tastes like heaven ’cause they made it. OUR love is watching them run on to the bus, so excited, they forgot to say goodbye. When they say, “I’ve GOT it Mom, go away” and you know you taught them independence. LOVE this post.

    • Sisters to Sons
      July 13, 2014 at 7:57 pm

      Thanks GINA! Love your comment!! You couldn’t be more right!

  • Lauryn
    July 8, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    Love this post! You are so very right. All of this is so very true. Oh how I love the snuggles and cuddles right now, but someday I will grow to love in different ways just like my kids. Not sure I’ll be ready;)

    • Sisters to Sons
      July 13, 2014 at 7:57 pm

      Not sure ill be ready either…. 🙁

  • Reesa Lewandowski
    July 8, 2014 at 9:13 pm

    Lindsey, this brought tears to my eyes. We all need this advice!

  • Carrie
    July 8, 2014 at 11:05 pm

    I may never be loved in THAT way again (little souls that pull at my shirt, climb in my lap, and NEED a hug and kiss to feel better) but you’re so right– I’d better be loved as much even when they’re 25. 😉

  • Stephanie
    July 9, 2014 at 9:30 am

    Great post, and great reminder about this precious time!

  • Heather @ GirlGoneMom.com
    July 9, 2014 at 2:13 pm

    I think if you’re a good, loving parent, their love for you will never run out.

  • Suzanne Lucas
    July 15, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    So true. When I think about my own parents, I know I love them as much as I did when I was a kid — probably even more so because I now understand just how much they gave to me (and gave up for me) when I was younger. Today, love is calling my Dad every week to see how he’s doing since I live far away. Love is checking up on his health and making sure he’s taking his medication like he’s supposed to. Love is making sure that he has someone to talk to when he’s feeling lonely. And love is going to see him as often as I can, even if it means a six-hour drive.

    Suzanne, visiting from the TIme for Mom hop.

  • Tiffany @ The Crunchy Mom Next Door
    July 15, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    Awwww, tears in my eyes. So sweet and true…ahhhh. We just had our last baby so it’s so tough to think this way!!

    Linked to this post by the Time for Mom Link Up! 🙂 http://www.thecrunchymomnextdoor.com

  • Rachel
    July 30, 2015 at 10:08 pm

    I love this post, it’s so on point and makes me feel the feels!!

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