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Rambling Thoughts of a First-time Kindergarten Mom

August 22, 2014

kindergarten
All summer long I’ve been anticipating this post. What will I say? How will I feel? And now the time is here… time for my first baby to go to kindergarten and I sit here and I’m not sure what to say and I don’t really know how I feel. I’m a first-time kindergarten mom and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to think.

I mean, I could write about the ladies in the supermarket and how they were right all along. It goes by so fast. Wasn’t it just yesterday that we brought him home from the hospital? The days when I agonized over if he was getting enough to eat during feedings. The days when I talked to myself out loud because I thought it was good for his language development. The days when I wore waterproof mascara to work because he cried when I dropped him off at daycare and I felt his pain ten times worse. The days when we were so tired it hurt. I could write about how it felt like those days were just yesterday.

I could also write about how I look at him now and he looks like a real kid. A freaking kid. A boy with no baby fat – he says he is “solid not skinny” and has a little boy haircut (as if the local barber had any other styles to offer). A boy that is two times a big brother and while most times those little brothers should probably fear for their lives, he loves them. They are buds and he wants 7 more (sorry, kid…not gonna happen). I could write about how he doesn’t need me for everything anymore and while it’s great, it’s also makes me a little sad. Ok, not that sad. But still, I could write about that.

I could write about how I am excited for him to be in school because it will make my days a little easier. I’ll only have 2 kids to entertain instead of three. There will be less fighting, less mess, and when I go to the grocery store I might actually have room for the groceries in my cart. And when his little brothers are napping I won’t have to worry about keeping him quiet and I’ll have two glorious hours.all.to.myself. Maybe I shouldn’t admit to those selfish thoughts, but still, I could write about them.

I could write about the regrets. The times I probably should have played with him more, hugged him more, talked to him more, but I was preoccupied with dishes, laundry, baby brothers or…..lets be honest, Instagram.

I could write about the fears of what is to come? Will he do well in school? Will he be liked by his peers? Will the big kids be nice to him on the bus? Will he be the class clown (likely) and will the teachers be writing home to me telling me to take control of his antics? Will I be able to help him with homework? Do I remember how to divide? Oh wait, I think that is a few more years away, phew.

I could write about how it seems like it is all over. The playdates, the mommy-and-me classes, the Tuesday morning excursions to pick strawberries at the orchard, or picnics in the park, or making play-doh inside because its too cold or rainy to go out. I could write about how these days are over and that scares me a little bit. No really, I can feel the pangs in my stomach.

Yes, I could write about all these things. All of these things have crossed my mind this summer at one point or another, but when I really think about it, it’s just kindergarten. He is still only 5 years old. It’s not high school, or college, or marriage. Dear god, I’m going to be a mess for the latter two. (It’s totally normal to fantasize about the mother/son dance already, right?) I digress, but my point is, he’s still half my size, he still sucks his thumb and twirls my hair, he still needs someone to go upstairs or downstairs with him so he is not alone, he gets giddy when we talk about Santa Claus, and heck, sometimes he still even takes a nap. So before I start writing off his childhood due to a little thing called kindergarten, I’ll just write about how we still have so much in store. So much to look forward to from Little League, to spelling bees, to field trips to things I’m not even aware of yet because it’s all going to be new to me too. And when we get there, I’ll write about it. Yes, maybe this last week before he goes to kindergarten I’ll hug him a little more, watch him a little closer, be a little more sentimental, and I’m pretty sure I’ll cry when he gets on the bus that first day. Yep, just teared up a little bit just thinking about it. But by day three I’m sure he’ll hop off the bus, throw off his sneakers, demand a snack and be back to driving me crazy. And when he does that I’ll remember that, in reality, not much has changed. But what do I know, I’m just a first time kindergarten mom.

RELATED POST: 10 Things I Learned as a First Time Kindergarten MOM

  • Nicole
    August 22, 2014 at 3:34 pm

    I’m a first time kindergarten mom too. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I actually cried when I read this! It’s so true. Good luck Mommy! 🙂

  • Heather
    August 22, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    Me too, girl. I am right here with you on ALL of this.

  • Kate
    August 22, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    Thanks Lindsey. Totally feeling this. Totally.

  • Patti
    August 22, 2014 at 4:15 pm

    Thank you. I’ve been stressing out all day about my oldest going to kindergarten

  • Michelle
    August 23, 2014 at 9:02 am

    Oh, how I remember those feelings! My oldest of 4 starts the high school next week and I am a mess! How time flies!

  • Claire
    August 24, 2014 at 10:03 pm

    I’m a mom and a kindergarten teacher. Believe me, kindergarten is magical. Your child is going to love it! Don’t be surprised when he calls you by his teacher’s name or his teacher “mom”. It’s a good sign. It means he’s comfortable and loved. Enjoy every minute of kindergarten. It is an amazing time!

  • Meg
    August 25, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    My oldest doesn’t even start K until next year but I started panicking about it last fall!! I am going to be a total mess! This year she goes mon-fri half day and that’s going to be hard enough on me! Good luck!!

  • Jo-Lynne Shane {Musings of a Housewife}
    August 26, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    I’m sending my first to high school this year. HOLD ME! You have so much to look forward to. Kindergarten is a precious year. ENJOY IT! xo

  • Reesa Lewandowski
    August 27, 2014 at 9:21 am

    We can all hold each other on the first day!!!!!!
    I feel like it’s an end of an era for me!

  • Jennifer A
    August 27, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    I am sending my youngest off to Kindergarten. It’s a big milestone for us but I am also very excited for him.

  • Natalie
    August 28, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    this made me cry too! aww!!

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