9. You’ve attended at least one cookie exchange, sampled each variety only to find that after three days of sitting in the same container, they all taste the same.
8. You have cursed the fact that Thanksgiving was late this year and there Just. Isn’t. Enough. Time. But on the bright side, that’s one less week of the b101 Christmas music takeover that you have to deal with on the radio. And you’re not a scrooge. You really did love it for the first 4 days….
7. You’ve emptied your wallet, but succeeded in tipping what feels like the entire world…. And upon reading this you may have realized you forgot about the bus driver. Don’t worry, guys, there’s still one more day.
6. You have a strong desire to lock yourself in your room, lay all of the gifts you’ve purchased on your bed, stare at them, sort them, wrap them, put them in piles and count them only to realize you need 3 more gifts for child B, you completely forgot dear Aunt Sally (we won’t tell), and even though your husband told you NOT to buy him anything, you can’t decide if 4 gifts is enough or if you should go back and buy this. After second thought, yes, you should buy it. He can always return it if it’s too much.
5. You’ve woken up at 3am on at least 4 occasions, heart pounding, because you realized you forgot to move the blasted elf. You stumble through the darkness to find a new “creative” spot for your elf to stay and by 3:02, if your elf wasn’t cursed before due to one of the kids touching him, he’s been cursed at now.
4. And on the occasion that your “10pm elf alarm” failed to sound and/or you drank too much egg nog to wake up at 3am (probably due to one of the many holiday parties you attended), you’ve rounded up a list of excuses as to why the elf didn’t move, typically defaulting to some gibberish about bad behavior and that the elf must have been giving them another chance before flying back to report to Santa.
3. You’ve spent days trying to figure out the Gap sale scheme. On a bi-daily basis you add things to your Gap shopping cart waiting for them to offer their biggest sale yet before biting the bullet. Spoiler alert, you missed it. But if you’re anything like me you have enough Gap dollars to add another item to your cart that you don’t need but will buy anyway because your getting “such a great deal” even when its only 51% off. Come on, Gap. You can do better than that…
2. You’ve made about 7 different mental notes about where gifts are hidden around your house, bought three different sets of wrapping paper because your kids got a peek of them, and were tempted not once, not twice, but three times to give your kids an early Christmas present because they were driving you so insane about “hooooow many days are left til Santa comes?”
1. You realize, all of a sudden, that December is the bitch you never knew it was… until you had kids. All that pressure to keep the magic alive, buy the perfect gifts, make the most decadent meals, cut the most pristine cookies, craft the most elaborate gingerbread houses, wear the most festively chic holiday party outfits, (move the damn blasted elf every single night)…… it’s a big job. But guess what, whether your “ready” or not, you’ve made it. Well, almost. So stop reading this post, go finish wrapping the presents that you haven’t started wrapping yet, and let’s get ready to rock this Christmas. Seriously, you guys, we deserve it.
Oh. And in the event that you aren’t too tired to go out on New Years after the whirlwind of a month that this has been, you are definitely too tired to think about what you will wear. That’s why I leave these things up to a stylish, energetic newlywed. So here are 12 ideas for you. (Thank you, Kaytlynn).