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Top 10 Parenting Tasks that are a Complete Waste of Time

January 13, 2015

wasteoftime

10. Laundry. Actually, you should do laundry because kids are gross and it would be even grosser (more gross?) if you didn’t wash the disgusting things that find their way onto to their clothing. But folding their laundry is a complete waste of time. Because when you are rushing out the door and they are still looking for that one shirt, that one shirt that you should have bought 10 of because it’s one of three things they actually wear, you will end up doing this. Every. Day.

 

9. Dressing them in nice clothes. Two reasons you shouldn’t do this: 1) They will despise you for it, especially if you have boys, and 2) Chocolate ice cream, ketchup, and maraschino cherries don’t discriminate against pish posh labels. And likely, if your kid is dressed up, they are at a venue serving at least one of those three things.

8. Stressing over why  your kid isn’t sleeping. I haven’t slept through the night since 2009. By the time I figure out why my kids aren’t sleeping through the night, they start sleeping through the night. By the time I reset my own sleeping patterns, they start waking up again. Teeth? Growing pains? Nightmares? Separation anxiety? Wet bed? It’s likely one of those things and at 2am does it really matter? You’re up, they are up. You’ll sleep when you’re dead.

 

7.  Organizing their toys. I like cars in one bin. People in another bin. Blocks in another bin. This makes sense to me. My kids? My kids could give a crap about these bins. It makes no sense to them and they want them mixed up all over the carpet. That makes sense to them. I could clean all day and there would STILL be something for me to clean at the end of the day. My New Year’s resolution was to stop cleaning all day long. But what if someone stops by unexpectedly? Second to eating mac and cheese three times a week for lunch, having a messy house is most definitely something you can blame on your kids.

6. Making your bed. Unless you are planning to give someone a tour of your home that day, skip making the bed and use that time to apply some under eye concealer that you need so desperately as a result of number 8.

5. Sitting down at dinner. Your butt hitting the chair signals a pavlovian reaction for children wanting water, or a napkin, or spilling something.

4. Closing the door to the bathroom. I struggle with this one, but it’s either a pee party or a whimpering child banging down the door. We have enough mom guilt, if their presence in the bathroom makes them happy, then me and my shame are over it.

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3. Tell your kid to “hurry up”. I am pretty sure that translates as “Slow down, self. We are likely going somewhere I don’t want to go.” And then all of a sudden their sock will start  “boddering” them and they’ll need to take off the shoes that you just put on, fix the sock, put the shoe back on, decide it’s still not right, insist on a new sock, and a new pair of pants while you’re at it, get hungry for a snack, and as soon as they have one foot out the door they will have to go to the bathroom……..number 2. Obvi.

2. Say things like “Just a second!” or “In a minute!” Trust me, you are better off stopping whatever it is that you are doing, giving the kid what they want, then go back to doing your thing.  If not, your next “minute” or “second” (and we all know it’s never really just a minute or a second) will be filled with:

 

 1. Put a child’s mitten or glove on the first time. If we could all skip right to that third or fourth attempt, the world would be a happier place.

  • Marci
    January 14, 2015 at 11:11 am

    #3 is my favorite. I dread having to be places early with my twins. Their 9:00 swim class was canceled twice this week because the pool heater was broken and I couldn’t have been happier.

  • Jennifer at Making Our Life Matter
    January 14, 2015 at 12:48 pm

    I totally agree on the laundry point!!

  • Amy
    January 14, 2015 at 1:01 pm

    Spot on! I especially hate gloves.

  • Tricia the Good Mama
    January 14, 2015 at 2:32 pm

    This was great! I really don’t know why I do laundry and why I ever put my toddler in nice clothes. Seriously. And, please… someone event something easier to deal with then mittens. They are just the worst! Scheduled to share!

  • Trina O'Boyle
    January 14, 2015 at 8:50 pm

    THIS IS GREAT!!!! I agree with everything except the dinner….we need to sit as a family. What is it about kids and dressing up. If my kids have to wear jeans they think it’s “fancy” when did jeans become “fancy” (that is my 7 yr old word) “Mom why do we always have to be fancy”? If it’s not sweats, running pants or shorts I get major attitude. Oh…and I’ve officially given up trying to organize legos. LOL

  • Hilary
    January 14, 2015 at 11:27 pm

    Yes yes all of this! 5, 4 and 2! Oh I’m so bad at saying “just a minute” like 10 times before I stop what I’m doing. You’re so right to just do it and get it done and go back to what I was doing.

  • Cristy Mishkula
    January 15, 2015 at 12:02 pm

    This is so funny because I actually do all of these things!

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