I’ll NEVER Be That Parent

January 29, 2015

that parent….who has a kid that dumps out all the salt and pepper at a restaurant.

….who can only make dinner if her kids are watching tv.

… who uses television to silence her children so she can talk on the phone.

…who hand-spoons dinner into her 3 year old’s mouth while he zones out watching tv. God no.

that parent

I’ll never be that parent…..

…who lets her child double fist lollipops in the grocery store just to get through in one piece.

… who gives her 1 year old child chewing gum. Seriously, who does that?

…who lets her kid eat yogurt. With his HANDS!

…who feels such immense feelings of anger toward her child over a spilled drink.

…who gives birth to a biter, a hitter, a kicker or even worse…. a liar!

that parent

I will never be that parent….

…. who makes boxed mac and cheese THREE. Days. In. A. Row!

….who skips baths because she is too tired.

….who skips pages in books because they are too long.

…. who FREAKS out on her kid like a tantruming 3 year old herself.

…. who lets her kids (gasp!) play video games.

…. who gives her toddler a taste (okay a cup) of soda because he won’t stop whining about it.

…. who caves and lets her kids sleep in her bed because their bodies are warm and she was too tired to be consistent.

that parent

I’ll never be that parent….

…. who complains she is always tired.

…. who lets her child rip through a box of tampons just so she can blow dry her hair. (talk about scarring a child for life!)

…. who wishes her one year old would actually sit down for 5 minutes and watch tv so she can unload the dishwasher in peace.

…. who drives the long way home because the kids are all strapped in, contained, and QUIET.

….. who lets her child take a bottle past 12 months of age.

….. who has a kid that throws tantrums (in public!)

….. who has a messy house with toothpaste all over her sink and stuff.

….. who is too busy gabbing with a friend at the park that she doesn’t notice her kid beating the crap out of another kid.

that parentBut guess what?

I was wrong.

I am THAT parent.

that parent

Whaddaya know? Motherhood is full of surprises.

And guess what else?

Wait for it…..

The kids are just fine. (well, except maybe that kid at the park…)

But for real, I’m almost 100% sure that we are doing a better job than we think we are.

For every “unacceptable” or “taboo” thing that we do to our kids, I can guarantee we already did three things the “right” way to outweigh it all.

Parenting doesn’t equal perfection. There is no prototype. There is no prescription.

So tell me. What things were you NEVER going to do until you became a parent? I won’t judge you if you don’t judge me.

  • Sarah Hughes
    January 29, 2015 at 8:45 pm

    Amen Sister!!!!!! I’m in bed with my two kids that are up too late and watching paw patrol. I’m too tired!!

  • Lindsay
    January 30, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    I love this! It’s all so true! I always said I wouldn’t do a whole laundry list of things… and then it becomes all about survival and reality, and what makes us happiest!

  • Rachel
    January 30, 2015 at 2:21 pm

    I love it! This just makes me think we need to hang out more often! “Double fisting lolipops” lol!

  • Tricia the Good Mama
    January 30, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    haha I love this post! Just yesterday my 18 month old was being really quiet while I got ready in the morning. I look over to realize that he is attempting to shove an entire pack of gum in his mouth (with the wrappers still on!). So, you are definitely not alone. Honestly, I was a kindergarten teacher before I became a mom so I knew to never say never! Kids can be crazy sometimes! haha

  • Jo-Lynne Shane
    January 30, 2015 at 5:36 pm

    You’re hilarious. The pictures make it.

  • Sarah
    January 31, 2015 at 7:42 pm

    LOVE THIS POST!!! I have so put my kids in front of a show so that they would zone and I could get them to actually eat!!

  • Samantha
    February 1, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    Tampons have always been a favorite of my son’s since he started grasping objects. He’s 18 months now and there’s still nothing quite like a crinkly wrapper with a surprise waiting inside now that he can open them on his own. He takes the cotton out and plays with the applicator pieces.

  • Emmy
    February 2, 2015 at 6:17 pm

    So so true! I think we all have these lists of things we will never do when we are parents… and then we have kids. Great post! Thanks for linking up with the #bestoftheblogosphere

  • Hilary
    February 3, 2015 at 4:51 pm

    I adore every single bit of this! I have let my 1 year old waste so much stuff bc she’s entertaining herself with either an entire box of wipes, box of sandwich bags or box of cereal. And my husband and I laugh over what we said we would NEVER do or say to our kids, but that was BEFORE WE HAD KIDS.

  • Amber
    February 7, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    ha!! I love this!! And, I’m guilty. No judging here. 🙂 Thanks for linking up with us at the Best of the Blogosphere! Hope to see you again next week! 🙂

  • Nina
    February 8, 2015 at 9:25 pm

    My sons are 11 months apart. The first few years were a blur! I should have bought stock in kraft mac n cheese!

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