A plate untouched, fists slam the floor,
A failed timeout, now this means war.
A nap time strike, a midnight fright,
A kick, a punch, a shove, a bite.
Hands in the diaper then up the nose,
A very interesting choice of clothes.
Smearing food and sucking thumbs,
Obsession with swords and guns.
Pants that itch, bows that bother,
Choosing mother over father.
Cheating, lying, stealing, sneaking,
Interrupting every word I’m speaking.
Wetting pants and sleep regression,
Unexplained “friend” aggression.
Mac and cheese and chicken diet,
Inability to keep quiet.
An untimely swear word slip,
An imaginary friend name Skip.
Princesses and Batman flying,
Crying, crying, crying, CRYING!
Baby talk and bandaid crazed,
Yes, this is the kid I raised….
Scared of the dark, scared of the light,
Scared the whole freaking night.
Potty mouth and incessant singer,
Certifiable stage five clinger.
Really freaking bad at dining,
Whining, whining, whining, WHINING.
9pm and still so wired,
It’s no wonder I am always tired.
All these trials came and went,
But OH the energy we’ve spent!
Agonizing, oozing doubt,
Did I really need to shout?
Sticker charts praising progress,
Pass the wine, but I digress.
Short years but crazy days,
Thank GOODNESS it was just a phase!!!
Mama said it’ll be alright,
And I agree…. in hindsight.