Before our world is rocked with the birth of our new baby, there are a few items on my “pregnancy bucket list” that I need to take care of. You see the thing is, as of today, we are preeeetty much out of the baby phase. My youngest just turned 3. He is potty trained. He is 87% capable of feeding himself (albeit disastrously). I can get by without bringing a stroller or other overpriced contraption for which to strap my child in when the burden of walking has become too cumbersome. I have zero, ZERO, wipes in my house…. I’ll let that sink in a minute. And the kicker? All, ALL, of my children sleepthroughthebloodynight. Do you realize how many YEARS this feat has taken us to accomplish? Yet soon enough, we will be starting over. So in honor of my last pregnancy, here is my bucket list.
10. Wake up every morning and think to myself, ” Self. That was a DAMN good night of sleep even despite the fact that I got up to pee three times, two times for heart burn and one time for a charlie horse. A. Damn. Good. Sleep.”
9. Shower like I MEAN it! Shave my leeeegs, lather my haaaaaair (maybe even twice), sing a little tuuuuuune, but mostly appreciate the fact that I do not hear phantom baby cries.
8. Buy a crumb cake and eat half of it myself. (This one may already be crossed off…….)
7. Walk to the car and get in. Walk to the car and get in. Yep. You heard me. Just walk to the car and just get in. (Veteran moms, you feel me on this one, right?)
6. Spoil my middle child a little before he becomes even more “middled”. Prep my baby for how to deal with no longer being the baby. Teach my oldest how to……..swaddle? What! I’m gonna need all the help I can get.
(And he knows it.)
5. Take a picture of my current bra size. You know, for proof, that my boobs once existed.
4. Wear something ridiculously bumptastic. Like this.
3. Prepare the nursery. Ha! More like, buy some diapers and dust off the old onsies. Is there anything else we really need? Oh, maybe some de-puffing eye cream? Stock in dry shampoo? Because let’s be honest…..
2. Soak in allll the baby feels that are happening beneath my skin.
1. Enjoy it. Because this…….. is it.